와우!

un seul être vous manque et tout est dépeuplé.

그 한사람이 나 자신일 경우에는 더욱 더.

가시나무 중 "내 속엔 내가 너무도 많아서 당신의 쉴 곳 없네"라는 구절이 마음이 아픈 것은 아마
3D로 바라본 김현 속에는 이미 너무 커버린 김현만의 세상이 있었고,
거기엔 무성한 잡초처럼 피어난 이기심이 보여서 였겠지.

항상 나의 판단이 옳다고 자만하지 말아야 겠다.
마음대로 만들어놓은 틀에 다른사람들이 안맞추어 준다고 억울해 하는건 결국
나 자신을 쓸쓸하게 만드는 일입니다. 와우!

Into the woods-

To talk to different me.
To communicate new thoughts.
In a refined language.

Out. 13-16th of January :)

한번 생각하고 말하기 운동

According to Leo oppa, I once was a quiet girl too.

I guess I kind of was, during the first years of my Californian life-- my "Fresh-Off-the-Boat" days, in other words. Why did I keep my mouth shut? 'Cause I couldn't speak [English].

Other than those out of ordinary times, I spoke.
I mean...I talked. I talk. I talk. and talk.

Retrieving memories from my childhood stories, I can say that wise men in any story or culture don't speak much. I believe Jesus wasn't much of a chatter either. They simply observe, nod, and open their mouths only at exact moments, to speak only of the world's precious teachings.

Words can easily disguise the truth and make too light of things.
Words are dangerous.

I never want to hurt people with what I say.
Unfortunately, it happens sometimes though I don't mean it.
Today was one of those days. It all started with petty, extremely casual talk and I just couldn't shut my blabbering mouth until one moment it felt like my tongue was dancing a vulgar dance. I felt the lightness of my being and could not be more foolish than wishing that I could re-gather what I have spilled.

So on this day, my friends, I have learned a great lesson.
Hate to admit it, but I feel cliches through the skin and I feel that they are consuming me whenever Life reveals itself in disguise. That must mean I am aging...
Before I end this day, may I recite AMC theater's signature line and declare that silence is.........golden? ㅠ_ㅜ

Picture Title: "No More Miss Little Busy Mouth"

happy birthday! happy waiting!

Picture title: My Favorite Moment :) / 하이라이트

----------------

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to reap that which is planted.
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.
A time to get and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."

-Ecclesiastes 3: 1


이런, 시간계산을 잘못했나..
약속시간에 늦을까봐 조마조마 하며 집을 나선다.
정류장까지 5분, 502번 버스 타면 15분 뒤 시청앞 하차, 그 다음 10분만 걸으면 목적지 도착.
이렇게 착착 맞아 떨어진다면 난 30분 안에, 시간에 맞추어 갈 수 있는 것이다.

계획한 대로만 된다면 말이다.

조급한 사람은 모든 타이밍이 아주 절묘하게 맞아 떨어지기를 바란다.
눈 앞에서 버스를 놓으면 마음이 끓고
에스컬레이터 앞의 아줌마가 떡하니 중간에서 길을 막고 있으면 애가 탄다.
하지만 모든것이 "my time"에 맞추라는 법이 어디 있겠는가.

마음이 여유로운 사람은 놀라운 융통성을 발휘한다.
눈이 예쁘게 쌓인 것을 보고 헨드폰을 꺼내 사진도 찍고,
버스에서 꾸벅꾸벅 조는 아이를 보고 미소도 지으며,
심지어는 일찍 도착하여 설레이는 마음으로 친구를 기다린다.

그런 생각을 했다.
우리는 목적지에 도착할때까지의 시간을 너무 짧게 잡는 것은 아닐까?
조급증은 너그럽지 못했던 우리 마음의 산물이 아닐까?

언제까지나 내가 만든 모든 틀은 "my time"에, 나를 중심으로 만든 것이었다. 그 틀을 깨지 못한다면 나는 항상 삶이 나에게 맞추어 주길 바라며 일이 틀어지진 않을까 조마조마하며 지낼 것이다.

무엇이든, 그것만의 특별한 시간이 할당되어 있다는 것을 믿는다. 그것만의 time이 있다는 말이다.
그때가 언제일까? 우린 모른다. 하지만 우리는 오르막길이 있으면 내리막길이 있다는 것도, 시작이 있으면 끝도 있다는 그 의심할 여지가 없는 삶의 얼굴, 그것은 안다. 어쨋든 씨를 뿌렸으니 결과는 나오게 되어 있는 것이 아니겠는가.

그게 언제이건 우리는 보게 되어있다.

그 기다림의 시간을 너무 팽팽하게 잡지 않는다면 조급증도 없어지겠지?
그리고 어차피 기다릴거, 이왕이면 여유롭게 즐기며 기다리는게 좋겠지..아마도?

unpredictable girl saying hi to her 2011

The summary of my game plan for this year:

"The entrepreneur is essentially a visualizer and actualizer... He can visualize something (year 2010), and when he visualizes it he sees exactly how to make it happen (year 2011). -- Robert L. Schwartz"

Let's go.





Bonus (Thanks to Bea):

Pickaboo!
저 주책맞은 놈을 좀 보게나..

"predictable girl" saying bye to her 2010

"Dang Monica, starting next year, you need to update me more often, alright? Or elseI'm going to start losing track of where you are in this world."

Predictable girl's unpredictable year coming up again.
Don't be too surprised if my next year's New Year Eve greeting is from somewhere in Antarctica.





:) ah! I lived a good year!

Bestsellers

나에게는 유행은 피하고 베스트셀러는 칭찬하지 않는 이상한 습성이 있다.

Ask me what my "favorite" of any kind is, and you probably won't hear anything in vogue or hot. In my world, trend is something to be avoided, and likewise, singularity is something to be pursued and digged for.
I value individualism.
and worship eccentricity.

Just in case you didn't get it (though it is very not likely), let me say the same theme with a bit of a twist in dimension--I don't like anything typical.
I am sure there is my natural penchant involved, but [psychologically] there is part of illogical and inexplicable sense of pride taking part in this characteristic. 어떤 몹쓸 자존감 ?

어쨋든 amidst wide wide bookstores, I practice no-book-gets-left-behind poicy on the bestseller section, and open the first page of the reading just to make sure that I don't miss out on what my society is getting into. But this despicable me doesn't advertise for the bestsellers because by doing so, I become a follower of the main, the common stream.

But you know, I ended last year with the epitome of inspirational book (The Secret by Rhonda Byrne) and am ending this year with yet another bestseller of that kind (The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch). Their words approach to my soul very strongly, as it has done to gazillions of people. I am moved by what shook the rest of the world, and I succumb to the fact that I am one of them.

This also reminds me: we often say we don't like cliches. Old-fashioned. Overused. 식상하다며.
But cliches will never disappear, as long as human beings share same emotions and deal with similar dilemmas. Ultimately, we all relate to same lessons (e.g., "everything is going to be alright in the end"). Those connections are what make us humans and what becomes a basement for friendship.

그래서 여기서 고백하건데,
다른 사람들이 좋아하는건 나도 좋다 ☞☜

Thus, here I openly recommend the bestsellers.
Read The Last Lecture.

Read The Alchemist.
Read The Little Prince. Please.

(oh, and listen to the Beatles)

Dang it...what a predictable girl I am!