김현 비위 맞추기

So I've been particularly sensitive about my inner changes and mostly, emotions.
I wanted to make careful observations of what makes me feel better, happier, and nicer.
Because I haven't been exactly that much of myself recently.

So I tried a few things and tried to listen to what the inner me has to say.

Writing on blog- I have a few rough drafts that didn't make it to the "publish" button. Translating my thoughts--my cynical and negative thoughts--wouldn't have possibly made someone's day better, therefore, ideas were only roughly drafted.

Talking- Because the root of my problems was rather very fundamental and philosophical, to undress my issues could've been nothing but three hours of me just talking and ending up crying. Plus, it's energy draining. So I tried the next..

NOT Talking- I apologize for my un-responsive-ness. To emails, phone calls, IM's, etc. Like I said previously, talking didn't work, so I tried NOT talking. What came was birth to unnecessary worries from my loved ones.

Reading- If only my brain could've processed texts, this method would've worked. However, language is a high degree cognitive functioning, and considering my current condition, using brain power was not really a productive act.

Running on a treadmill & on a park trail- I thought a burst of endorphin would help. Science was right: running did make me feel better, thanks to my intact neurochemical responses.

Watching 3 episodes of Grey's Anatomy in one sitting- No wonder intellectuals call TV's a 바보상자 (=a box for stupids). Not having to use your brain is a wonderful feeling, in addition to drooling over Patrick Dempsey's smile.

Snowboarding- Depressed people are in danger of committing impulsive and riskful moves. I'd like to say that I was a brave soldier who climbed up to the advanced lane without much thought. Call me "Silver" from this point on, please.

Museum exhibition- My sour blue journal, bloody red wallet, and grassfield green scarf tell that I am easily affected by colors. Chagall, the"magician of the colors" came to Seoul, so I displayed excellent etiquette and visited him amongst morbid flu and runny nose. Paintings in vivid colors never disappoint me. [Note: Chagall didn't really come. He died a few years back but his paintings can travel].

Cutting, burning, and boiling........or say cooking- I helped my grandma and mama prepare for 설날 (the Chinese New Year's). Hours of using knife gave me some kind of catharsistic effect.



But besides that, I watched Julie & Julia and felt a repressed passion for cooking once again. Maybe cooking could be a pick-me-up.
I need to be picked up. I want to try to make myself be happy and entertained again. That's what I heard from my inside today. And that's an improvement.

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