Dejavu, moni!

인생의 순환적임에 나는 가끔 깜짝깜짝 놀랄 때가 있다.

Upon my fifth meeting with Fr.Denis, my spiritual director, I was able to tell him that I am all-embracing of optimism and peace in mind. He says that I have always been.

He sometimes brings up the memories from when we first met. I was in high school back then, and he still introduces me to others every time with the exact words "the girl who I was affected by (너무 예뻐서 내가 감동했던 '아이'; and he always stresses that I was only a GIRL)." I know what you,probably my acquaintance, might be thinking in your head. Overrated. I know. But the point I want to make here is really that,

the cyclical nature of Life amazes me.

I've been wanting to put that out there--sometime, somewhere very soon, because I've been seeing that in every corner of even middle (soon to be late) twenty's life. Fr.Denis and my 인연 ("human connection") is one case out of many.

Unfortunately, neither he nor I remember what it was about my story that "touched" him so much. But I do remember so vividly the talks we had under the Big Bear Mountains' sky, the first confession where I poured out my fears and tears, and mostly, the verses from Romans 8 that he recited for me. ("You, however, live not by your natural inclinations, but by the Spirit, since the Spirit of God has made a home in you.") He's marked the beginning and the highlight of my spirituality. That is, the highest of me.

Back in Korea (which is also very cyclical), I reach the news that he is at Sogang University: 3 subway stops away, a 10-minute ride. Something very desperate and glad rises from me, and even before I know it, he is already updated on my inexplicable movings post-2004. Now, when I've seen the lowest of it, he is back in my [spiritual] field of vision, accompanying me through the walk of my journey. God must love me or somethin'.

Because Life draws on circles, we are bound to return.
And return is good;
second time we are more cognizant, not to mention we're also grown.
But as someone said, maybe we can aim for spirals instead of circles, because we don't want to feel like we are marching in place. Advancing--indeed-- is better.
아무리 그래도 그렇지, 제자리 걸음은 싫잖아 ;)