knock knock 여보세요?

Sometimes we wonder why we need to pray.
(Doesn't God already know what we want? He knows what's in my mind, right? 다 알고 계시잖아요) When I was little, my definition of prayer was "asking for something 'good.'" Then after some years of Sunday school and a few "last night of the retreat experiences", I've come to acknowledge prayer as a conversation with God. I developed a cute habit of speaking with God frequently and even at random times of a day: standing in line for a latte or making my way from spot A to spot B in a huge UCSD campus, for example. Instead of thinking to myself, "It's a beautiful day," I modified this expression into a friendly question of "It's a beautiful day....isn't it?" Talking to God wasn't so hard. Not at all. God's been everywhere in my life, and every time I took the eucharist, his existence in me was once again reminded.

"Prayer" to a 24-year-old Kim 현 Monica is a ruler that measures how close she is standing to God. To answer the questions that I posed at the beginning of this post--of course He knows more about me and how I feel, but the significance of act of praying is that we examine my relationship with God.

Where are you? (Genesis Chapter 3)

For the first time in a very long tme, I attended mass out of my pure desire to be in His house. I've missed church a couple times within the last month (50% attendance rate. That's a Fail!) and somehow, I was able to compromise with my own conscienceness that it's okay to take a break if I feel like it :/ If there were an angel on one shoulder and a demon on the other [like in cartoons] I guess I let the demon kick angel's butt. But even with that foul nonchalance, I knew from the back of my head that I won't stray away too far. I knew God was expecting me and I planned to return..soon. And today, I went to mass at Myungdong church and was absolutely delighted to be there.

The choir sang Dona nobis pacem and I discovered myself reverberating the same phrase in my head. God, grant me your peace. I have no clear reason for reciting such prayer with such direness, but at least at the moment, I felt desperate. 왜였을까?
I have yearnings that cannot be fulfiled by my work alone. To be free from selfish desires and realize that He will provide what I really need will I reach the peace of mind.

I think it's about time that I say this Bible verse again..the one that fuels the entirety of my soul: Yahweh Yireh.
"On the mountain Yahweh provides"
Lord will provide. Amen.

저 멀리 가지 않아요.
돌아오려고요 :)
picture title: 멀리 안가는 포즈 but really, 멀리 못가게 하는 짧은 다리