who sent me the flowers?

1. 생리 욕구

2. 안전 욕구

3. 소속감과 사랑에 대한 욕구

4. 인정을 받으려는 욕구

5. 자기실현의 욕구



According to David Marslow (Ph.D. in psychology), people feel most rewarded when they reach self-actualization. The diagram above explains his theory on the hierarchy of needs, and as you can see, the bottom of the pyramid describes people's most basic and necessary desire--desire to live--then travel up to more complex levels of cognitive and emotional definition of fulfillment--and in an exchangeable term, pleasure.


We are most satisfied when our work is, when our entirety is, recognized by us, ourselves.
Of course, the power of compliments and incentives are highly robust in themselves and in all their variant forms, but we ultimately decide that "we like what we like."

How many times have we tried to decorate ourselves so we please others' eyes?
How often do we struggle to fit our world into others' framework?

Needless to say, we are mighty in our malleability when it comes to socializing. We accept, adapt, glide, and finally, adjust. What is more scary is the fact that we can easily settle with our adjusted self. (한국에서는 그게 특히 더 심하다) The limitation comes short when our measurement of happiness is heavily dependent on others' rulers: the phrase "nothing lasts forever" applies to people's values and attractions so we will constantly be out of breath, running the never ending chase of popularity.

What is self-actualization?
It is NOT when you obtain authority, respect, and envy, but rather, it is when you are able to ascertain your self-ruling, liberated being through display of love, generosity, and service.

내가 나의 진실된 내면을 들여다 보았을때 나를 이해할 수 있다면 그때 느껴지는 성취감은 그 어떤 칭찬에서 오는 보상보다도 클것이다. 그리고 그 진실됨은 우리가 어떤 대상에게 사랑을 퍼줄때 가장 현저하게 드러난다고 생각한다. 사랑을 베풀며 나의 존재에 의미를 구현해 나갈때, 그렇게 나란 아이를 더 채워나갈때 가장 투명한 행복이 느껴지는것 같다.

그래서 사랑은 "심오한 진리 깨달은 자도 울리는 징"과 같고
"천사의 말을 하는 사람도 사랑없이는 소용이 없다" 하나보다.