Sleepless in Seoul

There is no "lag" in my jet lag.
I wake up before the hour hand hit 7 and there is nothing I can blame but my prodigiously accurate Circadian clock for this sleepless-ness.

Windows are opened, and I just lie there, trying to orient myself to this new setting.

• Air is humid--Yup, it's Korea.
• Distant sounds of cars and buses opening this new Monday-- Check. That's Korea.
• Mom sleeping next to me--This must be Korea.
  

I get out of my bed (=temporarily made from a thick blanket) and make another quick tour of my new home. Actually, it is small enough that the tour can be made with locking my feet at one place and just compass-ing around. A quick 360 degree rotation and I feel the same unfamiliarity and synonymously, an excitement that I felt last night. (Oh, having to wear rubber slippers in the bathroom also makes me realize that I am in Korea.)

I walk over to the window and these are the views that I see:

on the left

on the right

and down.

I feel strange in recognizing 남산타워 as the very landmark I saw on the night of January 1999. Though it took me lot longer than I thought, I was certainly meant to make this dramatic come-back. Call me young and arrogant, but I'd learned enough from various transitions to understand that destiny's interventions can sometimes lead us to the starting point, only to present to us the same-olds with mature/upgraded/experienced eyes. 남산타워 is still the same; only I have changed.

Perhaps this is the homecoming,
the one I've anticipated since February 1st, 1999, the 12-year-old girl's first sleepless night in LA.

Sleepless in Cali

A little bird might have whispered to you this news already,
but I guess there is a high chance that I am leaving my 11.5-year-home in some hours.
I was told of the same exact thing, except I saw this in a small print (=my flight itenerary).

Well, tonight, Moni is sleepless in Cali.

So Moni, why don't you sing your insomnia away... if that is even possible?
Fine. I will just recite a line from my all time favorite song,
"Bohemian Rhapsody" by QUEEN.

Is this the real life
Is this just fantasy ♬





안녕. 잘있어 :-)
나는 돌아올때도,언제나, 영원히, 폴짝폴짝 김현일꺼야

나의 파라다이스

I left my heart in San Diego last June. So I went to go find it.

"Carol, I can't believe it was only a year ago since we graduated."

"Hoodies and jeans, carrying heavy ochem books across the library walk--
that was us"

"It was a perfect course: getting a Perks latte at 7am
and waiting in front of the library door until it opens at 7:30am. "

TK: "Don't bring that up. We sound like such losers." (-->therefore, I protect your identity.)

"You remember since freshman year,
I said I'll go hangliding my last quarter at UCSD "

"How come that didn't happen?"

"Oh, how I missed this sky!"

"the best four years of my life"-CY

"Carol, I'm afraid I'll miss this a lot"

....... I guess my heart will forever belong here :)

성장통

Now when I look back, this sounds ridiculous (and I laugh to myself) but in 6th grade, I believed I could understand how the world operates.

It still sounds ridiculous but when I was entering college, I thought I was ready to get completely out of my parents' nest. Though "moving out" was a huge transition and a big jump from a teenager to a young adult, little did I know about what it means to be a flying bird soaring up to the high altitude on my own.

Ok. By the time I went to Boston, I was a grown-up. At least I thought so.
Financially-- I was independent.
Physically-- I couldn't be more liberated (c'mon. being alone in the strange land?)
Mentally-- I tried.

There are many things that I have accomplished within the last year, but on a personal level, my biggest struggle and an achievement was...ripening.

Sadly but appropriately, I don't believe in Peter Pan's Neverland anymore.

Until this moment of epiphany, I had direly held onto my vision of a pretty world.
I only chose to see pretty things in life, goodness of people, and cure-all nature of love.
But from what I've seen...Monica 김현아, there is no cure-all.

I woke up from a child's dream as I heard the glasses shatter.
And I said, "It was a good dream," as I opened my eyes.

My eyes are more sensitive to the reality of this world but I realize this isn't all that bad...
because this means that they are also sensitive to the jewels of this world that much more too

...like this fresh green field in the middle of a desert!

last few days as a Bostonian

제일 아름다울때 떠났다.
and have no regret about it.

안녕, 나의 책상-
(노란머리가 선물로 준 Steven 은 뭔가 억울한 표정이다)

스티븐 말고도 직장 동료들이 나에게 준 "내가 생각나는 아이템들"은:
땅콩버터 2통, 씨리얼 2박스, 수도쿠 책,
5만 칼로리를 담은 all sorts of dark-chocolate-related sweets,
그리고 Red Sox 모자.

They called me the "chocolate fairy" once upon a time in Framingham :)

Goodbye, 의사 선생님 놀이
병원에서 길을 잃은 나를 바라보던 환자들의 어이없다는 눈빛..
하지만 병원은 미로같았다고요..

Amelia도 안녕. 우린 제법 쌩쌩 달렸지..
네가 나때문에 고생을 좀 했어도.

my grand finale with 우리 자매님 at Finale

greater finale at Sunset :)

Now on my way to California, then to Korea.
The new life awaits,
and here,
I
go
again :)

달려라 (하)혀니!

couldn't ask for more :)